Just as our modern lives preventing us from responding to our need to express our flight or fight response leads to stress, and our turning from whole foods to processed foods give us all sorts of physical ailments, our denial of our natural sexual programming leads to untold emotional and behavioral problems. It would startle the average person to learn how many divorces are caused by the inequity of a woman’s unfulfilled sexual needs. In an effort to protect the man from humiliation it is rarely mentioned in polite society that the reason for a couple’s divorce was because the wife was finding sexual satisfaction outside their marriage. If we could be open and honest about a women’s needs, and that it is not the fault of their husbands that they need to fulfill those needs outside their marriages, then maybe we could begin to embrace cuckoldry as a healthy societal norm and save far more marriages..
I have saved many marriages in my practice by gently introducing the idea and practice of cuckoldry to struggling couples. I have seen in my own female patients that once they start to engage in sex outside their marriage with the acceptance of their husbands and the security that their husbands will remain faithful, they become more centered, calm and confident. Similarly, once their husbands get past their jealous feelings and fear of inadequacy they become calmer and more mature, no longer engaging in childish behavior like nights out with the boys or an obsession with sports. They even loose their interest in pornography as their wives recounting of their extramarital exploits, or their participation in those exploits, becomes much more titillating to them than the artificial titillation of pornography.
When my female clients add the uncertainty principle of arousal and denial to their cuckold marriage a woman can bring her husband back to the days when they were first dating. Husbands become more focused on their wives and no longer suffer the frustrating feelings caused by a desire for unattainable women
Cuckold marriages can evolve into a great variety of preferences. In my own practice I have seen cuckold marriages that range from those in which cuckolding wives enjoy subjecting their husband’s to humiliation and punishment, to those in which wives will have sex with other men in front of her husband as a form of entertaining them, to just about everything in between. Most couples in my practice, however, have very loving marriages with playful arousal and denial that seem conventional in every way except that the wife dates while her husband remains faithfully hers.
It is regretful that the cuckold relationships of Victorian times could not have evolved into an open way of life accepted by modern society. It is my hope that one day it will.
