Was wondering if someone could give me advice?


I am extremely IR obsessed. So much that it consumes my life. When I'm not at work I'm constantly watching something of IR sex, situations, couples, etc. Even when I'm out, seeing interracial couples gets me horny. Don't know if this is good or bad? I'll I know is I'm single, straight, but love watching IR porn! So much that its the only thing that gives me an erection. Very difficult to get hard with just me and a girl. I always have to think about IR sex in my mind to get an erection or to even try to perform.
I don't know what to do. I wish I could find a girl who would want to be with me, marry me, maybe do the family thing, but also does black guys exclusively(one on one only). I'm not even asking to have sex with her that much. I guess i want to be a sort of cuckold but not really. I only want to watch so I can get off and the girl I'm with is pleased. I'm not small by any means, its just the contrast turns me on so much that it takes over. I also need this to be a secret from the rest of my family. Is there anyway to find a girl like this? A girl who already wants this and I don't have to convince? I'm 33 and the years are going fast. Someone? Anyone? Please help!!! Thank you!
IR porn is unfortunately an addiction for many people, I believe it is a sub-category of a porn addiction with an intense focus on one fetish over another. The issue isn't whether you enjoy it or not as you point out, but at what expense do you enjoy it. I have always been a believer that anything in moderation is alright even if misunderstood by most. The key factor is that it is not at the expense or yourself or others and in this case it unfortunately is, because you are having a difficult time enjoying a womans company without obsessing about IR. One key item you didn't mention is the only way you become aroused is by envisioning her with someone else, which to me places the attention on her getting maximum pleasure. This could be partly because you have a low selfesteem about yourself or have been in verbally abusive relationships with a female.

Either way I feel your obession is an addiction that is controlling your life as compared to you having an interest in it. You know it becomes an addiction when it is at the expense of the relationships you have with others.

You can attempt to find a girl within the context that you mentioned, but I feel you need to find a way of lessening the hold that IR porn has on you and the dependency you put on it.

Either way good luck and thanks for listening,
Most people are addicted to something. Drugs, food, TV, video games, porn, alcohol, nicotine, work, etc. As long as the addition is sustainable you are lucky. I'd rather be addicted to watching porn than Meth or drinking a bottle of booze every day. Actually, I believe the porn-thing is rather an obsession than a full blown addiction. I mean, it's not that you go on cold turkey and start robbing people if you can't watch porn for a day. So I wouldn't worry too much about it, and just enjoy watching it. You are neither hurting yourself nor others, and that should be the measuring-scale.

As for finding the right girl, I wish you good luck. Always remember, the man makes the woman. Sometimes you have to enter a relationship, have trust, and make positive input over years, to get a relationship you envision. Many women may have that fantasy as well, but they are too insecure to live it out. They think society does not want them to be that way. The ""good girl" image. That's where you as a partner come in, and provide security, safety, and encouragement.
All I can say is, you're not alone. There are thousands, millions of guys in exactly the same situation.
Thanks everyone for your help and advice! Much appreciated! I have a lot of thinking to do...

And thank you Zagg! You definitely made me feel a lot better!

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