midsgirl4black said:
If you don't want to father any children you do not personally raise that is of course your right. Not all black men object to that though-- I have met quite a few who tell me they would love to get me pregnant and let me and my husband raise the baby, and that is also their right.
I just think that too many people (black, white, brown, red, yellow, everybody) are having too many babies outside of wedlock and/or a committed relationship with the other parent. And that's not in the best interest of children. And it's not in the best interests of society.
The kind of thing that you're talking about is mostly for fantasy. The norm with trifling men who "don't object" to "somebody else" raising their kids is struggling single mothers and poverty. It's not good for the kids, and it's a drag on society when people exercise their "rights" in this much more typical fashion.
Now, maybe you can create the kind of situation you're talking about between you and your husband and a black lover. More power to you. But be careful what you ask for! Because you see, the odds are greatly stacked against you. What sounds great in theory can, and quite often does, become a nightmare in reality. You can find yourself in a world of hurt of legal troubles and a lot more, including emotional damage for all of the parties involved, including the kids.
If non-black people in an existing relationship want black kids, then they should either adopt or go to a sperm bank. Leave the "breed me" stuff to fantasy. You know, there would be more black/non-black couplings if people didn't hold onto all of the same old stereo-types and prejudices. "Oh, I've GOT to marry a white/Asian guy because he will be a better husband/father emotionally and can support me and the kids better financially." This kind of thinking doesn't even give good black men a chance!
It's the 21st century. We've come a long way baby. There are plenty of black men who are articulate, educated, committed to family, and with good jobs who can provide. So, you single women of all races out there who are interested in relationships with black men that might involve children, get off of this "need to marry a white/Asian guy for support" BS. You marry who you love, and have children with him, whatever his color! How's
YOUR wife and
MY kids?? Leave that nonsense where it belongs. In funny movies and to fantasy!